STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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