i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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