its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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