he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize