New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
