dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
