Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
