Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
