I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
