two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
