with your own penis?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
