I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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