Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize