fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
