dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
