His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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