At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
