My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
