how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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