69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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