sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
