I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
