I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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