I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
