We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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