he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
