Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
