Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You're like the curious george of whores
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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