Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
