if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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