I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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