Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
