Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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