So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
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Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She told me I should be a condom model.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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