I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
