Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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