I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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