is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
