Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
