Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
There are leaves in my underwear?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
