careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
