so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
