i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
