Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
