i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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