Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
