Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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