He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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