susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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