seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
