i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
