Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
