Sponge bath it is.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
