I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
