so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
