god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
