I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, beer. Big fan.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
