Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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