South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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