Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
