I am puke
I don't think brook has ever known best
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
