He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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