Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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