I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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