I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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