It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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