If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize