He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
