Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
