I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
