from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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