K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
