May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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