i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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