i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
